Take a stand, or take a seat!

TalkBiz News
Issue for November 6, 2009
-----===(*)===-----
Hi, folks...
Today's article starts out seeming a bit rambly. Fear not.
There's a useful payoff at the end. Bear with me...
"Going, Going..."
===============
The special price on my book, "Creating Killer Content," ends
this weekend. If you really want to improve the results you get
from your content, especially your writing, grab a copy.
Here's part of a comment I got on it last evening:
"I just got in from about an hour with Creating Killer
Content. I got to page 20 and it is just chock full of
incredibly good, useable content- stuff you don't get from
other marketing writers. I'm definitely feeling a growing
allegiance to things you recommend because of this
over-delivery."
That's after just 20 pages. There's a lot more to it. ;)
Check the deal out here:
Enjoy!

"Some people's kids..."
=====================
So, I recently sent out an issue of the newsletter that
started with:
"... Go Yankees!
"Okay. Now that I've got that out of my system for
today, let's get on with it, shall we? ;)"
To long-time readers, it's no secret that I'm a fan of the New
York Yankees. Have been, ever since my Dad decided to get cable
TV when I was a kid, so we could see the games on WWOR. We've
spent many a pleasant evening rooting for the boys in
pinstripes, and razzing my brother Dan.
Dan's a Red Sox fan. He got even in 2004.
Anyway... In the next issue, I mentioned a special offer on one
of my products, to celebrate the Yanks going to the World
Series. After that I started getting emails. Some of them were
fun, like the one that started with this:
"Holy divisive revelations, Batman, what are you going to
say in your next broadcast? What side of the
(controversial subject) issue you're on?"
He then razzed me a bit. All in good spirits, mind you.
He has a point beyond the fun, though. Any time you mention
that you favor one team or another, someone is going to take
serious offense. Usually someone with no sense of humor and a
major lack of real stuff going on in their lives. Razzing is
fun, and part of the sport for a lot of people, but how can you
take it that seriously? It's just a game, after all.
It's worse when it's the Yankees. There are people out there
who absolutely HATE the New York Yankees, and anyone who likes
them.
Really.
On the flip side, they have more fans than any other baseball
team.
That's how it usually works, though, isn't it? Which is an
interesting lesson in marketing reality: If you win on a
consistent basis, you will acquire enemies. The more popular
you are, the more people there will be who'll look for a reason
to dislike you.
Part of life. Get used to it, if you plan on being a success.
....
This applies to almost any issue that could be divided into
"sides." People lean one way or another, and stiffen their
support for that side when they feel challenged. If the issue
is serious enough, that can lead to polarization.
That results in what is called motivated reasoning. Once
someone gets to that point, discussing the issue with them is
pretty close to pointless. Anything you say to them that
contradicts their belief will either be dismissed out of hand,
or re-interpreted to support their position, even at the price
of twisting facts into pretzels of fact-like distortion.
Google the phrase "motivated reasoning" for a number of
articles that explain the process. It will give you a useful
look into why people can be so adamant about believing things
that are demonstrably untrue. And why debating the questions
with them is a waste of time and energy for both of you.
If you take the time to really understand that, and the fact
that we all do it to some degree or another, you'll get more
direct benefit from having read this issue than probably any
other in a long time.
There's no point in trying to communicate with someone who's
actively blocking understanding.
Of course, if you're prone to doing this yourself, you'll use
it as a way to explain away anyone who disagrees with you. ;)
There's always that other shoe.
....
Back to the emails that mentioned the Yanks. After sending
those out, I got a couple of responses from the same reader.
The first had the subject, "Really?"
It read:
"Are you aware that not all your subscribers are American?
"Are you aware that not all the people in the world know or
care who the Yankees are? Are you aware that there are
people in the world that see sport as the useless
competitive rubbish that it is? Are you aware that opening
an email with something as juvenile and banal and trivial
and useless as '...Go Yankees!' is moronic?
"To say that I am seriously disappointed is understatement.
"How about a little dose of maturity?"
About a half hour later, he sent me another, with the subject,
"Marketting Mistakes."
"Most of us world inhabitants who are not American [and
do not watch (American) television] do not celebrate
Halloween.
"'Getting ready for this evening's treat - the Yankees
playing a trick on the Phillies to take the lead in the
World Series.'
"Yankees, Phillies...............who CARES!!!!!?????
"World Series????? Has the USA succeeded in becoming the
whole world already?
"And you have just been trying to teach me about marketting
mistakes?
"(And "marketting" is not a 'typo' - I speak and write in
English not American!)
"[Name removed].
"P.S: I changed the original 'Juvenile Distractions!'
subject line of this email to 'Marketting Mistakes' to
increase the possibilty of this email being opened and read
and therefore increase your opportunity to learn something
about simple basic marketting."
Well. I guess he told me, eh?
....
Leaving aside the fact that marketing is not properly spelled
with two t's under UK, US or AU convention (is there another
variety of 'English' of which I'm not aware?), I was quite
surprised by these emails. Not by the content so much as the
nationality of the author.
It's rare to find an Australian with such a remarkable dearth
of mirth. This fellow seems to be suffering from a bad case of
unrelievable flatulence, compounded by a fractured humorous.
A painful combination, I'm sure.
....
He makes a common and generally valid point regarding the word
'world' in "World Series." Other than that, he's just way over
the top. He was not, unsurprisingly, the only one.
And that, dear reader, is the point. No matter what you say,
someone, somewhere, will find a way to object to it. The
objection will often have little to do with what you actually
said.
For example, while some people complained because they
actually dislike the Yankees, this fellow's problem was a bit
broader in scope. Specifically, he doesn't like the US. He
simply chose a passing comment as the trigger for his
exposition on the subject.
He managed to pass a bit of that hot air my way (as if I don't
have enough of my own). Beyond that, and possibly feeling a bit
superior for the effort, he accomplished nothing with his
complaint.
Well, okay. He serves as a useful bad example. But other than
that... bupkus.
Why?
Because I don't take any of this stuff personally.
That's a habit you have to cultivate if you're going to
publish online. Don't take the praise personally, and don't
take emails like that personally.
I have known a great many people online over the years, and,
when they're new at the game, they almost all make the same
mistakes. The biggest one is to be too concerned about negative
feedback. Some have been so worried about it that they felt
acute anxiety any time they got a critical email or comment on
their blogs.
Others drain everything human and personal from their
communication, in an effort to avoid giving people an excuse to
feel offended. Then they get confused and upset when they get
no feedback at all, or when someone points out that they're
just plain old boring.
If you're prone to this way of thinking, write this down and
never forget it:
The only creatures attracted to robots are other robots.
....
That doesn't mean you don't draw lines. For example, while I've
written at some length about the marketing aspects of political
campaigning, I leave my personal political views strictly out
of the newsletter. They have nothing to do with what you signed
up to learn. There is simply no purpose in bringing up highly
emotional issues if they're not relevant to your subject.
It's bad for your business.
It's rude to your readers.
It's dumb.
....
If the issue is highly emotional and relevant to your topic, by
all means, get involved. You can take the role of the moderate
observer, discussing all sides. Or you can just outright take a
stand. What you can't do is dodge all of these questions and
still be taken seriously within your market.
If you don't know enough to take a stand, learn. Or say so, and
play the dispassionate reporter role until you do. People
respect someone who's willing to say, "I don't know the answer
yet. Let's look at it and see if we can figure this out. What
do you think?"
If you have a strong opinion that you can back up with solid
reasoning, take a stand.
Doing that will make you a few "enemies," sure. It will also
attract the people who understand and agree with your position.
Those people will be as strong in their support as your
opponents will be in their disagreement. And many of those on
the other side will respect the fact that you stood up for your
principles, even though they have different opinions.
Being a leader isn't always comfortable, but it's always a
better position than being just another guy standing around
watching.
....
Two additional hints here:
First, do not ever take a position you don't believe is right.
You will probably be wrong on occasion, and that's fine. If you
believe in your stand, and you have solid principles behind it,
your mistakes will be ones of knowledge, not ethics.
Pretend to believe in something when you don't, and it will
catch up with you.
Secondly, learn to pick your fights. To that end, I have three
rules governing when you should get into a public debate on an
issue:
1. You need to be pretty certain you're right. If
you're not, the other side is going to tear you
apart, and rightly so.
2. You need to be pretty certain the other side is wrong.
It's not uncommon for both sides of an issue to have
equally valid perspectives, and it's pointless to deny
those if they exist. It just makes you look petty and
stupid.
3. Have a useful outcome in mind.
That last one is the most important. I will often debate an
issue with someone publicly, despite the fact that I know
there's no chance I'm going to convince them of anything. In
those cases, I'm responding to the person debating the other
side, but I'm really talking to everyone who's reading it that
hasn't yet made up their mind.
If I know that neither of us is going to convince the other, I
won't bother to have the same debate in private. There's no
useful purpose served by that, for anyone.
Know your outcome.
....
Let's get back to my correspondent and his moral outrage over
my choice of sporting events...
He is proof positive that you can't avoid criticism, even
strong criticism, without being utterly bland. If you're going
to get criticized anyway, don't you think it should be for
something meaningful?
I've been on the receiving end of many megabytes of that sort
of comment over the years, much of it from far more talented
writers than that dude. I can tell you without any hesitation:
I have not lost one drop of blood or felt one moment of real
pain from it.
Don't take it personally. It's a sign that you're doing
something useful.
Well, usually. In this case, it was a sign that somebody'd had
a bad day and needed to kick something. That's still not
anything to take personally, is it?
It just doesn't matter.
....
The other side of the coin is almost as dangerous: Don't take
praise personally. It's easy to start believing your own press.
It's also very dangerous.
That leads to complacency, a big ego, and an inflated sense of
the value of your work. None of those are good things. They end
up holding you back in the long run.
....
One more bit of advice on this: Do not take any of this to mean
that you shouldn't take ALL your feedback seriously. When
someone cares enough to reply to you, don't forget that it's a
real human being on the other end. You may not have time to
answer them all, but you owe it to them to at least read what
they say and remember that they're probably speaking for a fair
number of other people.
If someone bashes you, you will need to choose how you reply,
if at all. Just keep those 3 suggestions above in mind when you
do.
If someone gives you a compliment, accept it graciously.
People rarely compliment strangers unless they mean it, and
they took time out of their day to let you know you made a
difference.
You know not to take this stuff personally. The person on the
other end of that email may not. And, strange as it may seem to
you, you might very well be a person of significance to them.
Be nice.

Paul

Why

The other day I was watching poker on tv and I thought to myself. How come those guys always dress so stupid.

Obvious Expert MP3 Audio

Hello, Lori

Here is the link to download the Audio Interview the 12 Strategies
of the Obvious Expert.
Hope you enjoy the interview.
We will also be keeping in touch with you from time to time with
news, tips and updates.
Elsom Eldridge
The Obvious Expert